HOW TO ESTABLISH RIGHT RELATIONSHIP.
In our daily life there is no love between two images. How can I love you and you love me, if you have an image about me, if you have ideas about me? If I have hurt you, if I have pushed you, if I have been ambitious, clever, and gone ahead of you, how can you love me? How can I love you if you threaten my position, my job, if you run away with my wife? If you belong to one country and I to another, if you belong to one sect Buddhism or Catholicism and the rest of it and I am a Muslim, how can we love each other?
To establish right relationship is to destroy the image. So unless there is a radical transformation in relationship, there cannot possibly be peace. You cannot possibly isolate yourself either from your own image which you have created about God, about truth, or from your own image about your own self and all the rest of it. So, to establish right relationship is to destroy the image.
Do you understand what it means to destroy the image? It means to destroy the image about yourself that you are deserves as a certain person with a certain status.You have to destroy the machinery that creates the image the machinery that is in you and the machinery that is in the other; otherwise, you may destroy one image and the machinery will create another image.
So, one has not only to find out the existence of the image that is, to be aware of your particular image but also to be aware of what the machinery is that creates the image. Now, let us see what that machinery is. You understand my question? That is, first one has to be conscious, to be aware, to know not verbally, not intellectually, but actually know as a fact the existence of this image. It is one of the most difficult things, because to know the image implies a great deal.
You can know, you can observe that microphone that is a fact. You may call it by different names, but if we understand what you call by these names, then we see the fact of it. So there is no interpretation there; we both know it is a microphone.
But it is a different thing to understand the image without interpretation, to see the fact of that image without the observer, because the observer is the image-maker and the image is the thought of the observer. This is a very complex thing.
You cannot just say, “I will destroy the image,” and meditate about it, or do some kind of trick, or hypnotize yourself that you can destroy the image it is not possible. It requires tremendous understanding. It requires great attention and exploration, not a conclusion at any time; a man that is exploring can never come to a conclusion.
And life is an immense river that is flowing, moving incessantly. Unless you follow it freely, with delight, with sensitivity, with great joy, you will not see the full beauty, the volume, the quality of that river. So we must understand this problem. When we use the word understand, we mean by that word, don’t we: not intellectually.
Perhaps you have understood the word image, how it is created by knowledge, by experience, by tradition, by the various strains and stresses in family life, work in the office, the insults all that makes up the image. What is the machinery that makes that image? You understand? The image must be put together.
The image must be maintained; otherwise it will collapse. So you must find out for yourself how this machinery works. And when you understand the nature of the machinery and the significance of that machinery, then the image itself ceases to be the image not only the conscious image, the image that you have of yourself consciously and are aware of superficially, but also the image deep down, the whole of it.
Then only is there a relationship between human beings it will not be between two images, which are dead entities. It is very simple. You flatter me, you respect me; and I have an image about you, through insult, through flattery. I have experience pain,misery, conflict, hunger, loneliness.
All that creates an image in me; I am that image. Not that I am the image, not that the image and me are different; but the ‘me’ is that image; the thinker is that image. It is the thinker that creates the image. Through his responses, through his reactions physical, psychological, intellectual and so on the thinker, the observer, the experiencer, creates that image through memory, through thought. So, the machinery is thinking, the machinery comes into existence through thought. And thought is necessary, otherwise you cannot exist. So, first see the problem.
Thought creates the thinker. The thinker begins to create the image about himself. He creates the image and he lives in it. So thinking is the beginning of this machinery. And you will say, “How can I stop thinking?” You cannot. But one can think and not create the image; one can observe that one is a communist or a Muslim.
You can observe this, but why should you create an image about yourself? You only create an image about me as a Muslim, as a communist or whatever it is, because you have an image about yourself, which judges me.
But if you had no image about yourself, then you would look at me, observe me, without creating the image about me. That is why this requires a great deal of attention, a great deal of observation of your own thoughts, feelings. So one begins to see that most of our relationship is actually based on this image-formation, and having formed the image, one establishes or hopes to establish relationship between two images.
And naturally there is no relationship between images. If you have an opinion about me and if I have an opinion about you, how can we have any relationship? Relationship exists only when it is free, when there is freedom from this image-formation we will go into this during the talks that come. Only when this image is broken up and the image-formation ceases, will there be the ending of conflict, the total ending of conflict.
Then only will there be peace, not only inwardly, but also outwardly. It is only when you have established that peace inwardly that the mind, being free, can go very far. You know, sir, freedom can only exist when the mind is not in conflict. Most of us are in conflict, unless we are dead. You hypnotize yourself, or identify yourself with some cause, some commitment, some philosophy, some sect, or some belief you are so identified that you are just mesmerized, and you live in a state of sleep.
Most of us we are in conflict; the ending of that conflict is freedom. With conflict you cannot have freedom. You may seek, you may want it; but you can never have it. So, relationship means the ending of the machinery which puts together the image, and with the ending of that machinery, right relationship is established; therefore, there is the ending of conflict.
And when there is the end of conflict, there is freedom, obviously actual freedom, not as an idea, but the actual state as a fact.
Then, in that state of freedom, the mind, which is no longer twisted, no longer tortured, which is not biased, which is not given to any fancy, any illusion, any mystical conception, or vision that mind can go very far. Far, not in time or space, because there is no space and time, when there is freedom.
I am using the words very far in the sense that then we can discover these are words which really have no meaning then in that freedom there is a state of emptiness, a state of joy, a bliss which no God, no religion, no book can give you. That is why unless this relationship is established between you and your wife, your neighbor, your society, between you and other people, you will never have peace and therefore no freedom. And as a human being, not as an individual, you can then transform society.